Hearing the traffic updates on any morning radio station always makes me smile for is yet another reason I live where I do. Traffic, lights, car accidents and road closures are the least of our worries. Yet there are many other obstacles in our daily travels about using various mode of transport.
I am a ‘FLOPE’ as opposed to a FLOP! ie: I had a Former Life Of Paid Employment.
Now I’m just a Fun Loving Other Person. My teaching job required me to leave home at 7:20am each morning and return each evening when my work was done. I did it for 9 years. A 30 minute, 40km trip with only 2km of dirt. EASY! My husband never understood why I wasn’t ever, ever home by 3:30pm. (That’s another whole story there)
Wednesday and Friday’s were particularly stressful; I had to remember to look for the train as it usually crossed the road at about 8am. There was the wildlife to contend with. Roos, goannas, cattle, calves, plane turkeys, emus and occasionally a passing car. But it was nothing a 5 poster bull bar and side rails could not handle. Wedge tail eagles were another matter. They take an amazingly long time to react and move their massive stomaches off the ground and considering their favourite breakfast snack is dead roo that someone has previously hit, they are the real kings of the road. They are not all fluff and feathers when your windscreen collects them. Even if you are only doing 60km/ph. On the bitterly cold and frosty morn I scored mine the whole windscreen shattered, leaving glass shards over the entire front of the car. Always wear sunglasses whilst driving. After watching the poor, daisied creature shake its head and continue on its merry way, I was literally left to pick up the pieces. My son, who was 5 at the time thought it was sooo cool and wanted to know when we could do it again. Not being able to see a soul through the hole, I then drove 2km back to the nearest phone to find out if there was a replacement windscreen available in town. “No worries”, they said, “head on in.” So we did, at about 20km/ph with a child standing on the front seat, head out the window, guiding us the rest of the 30km. I was a tad late for work that morning.
The commute was not nearly as bad until my babies started arriving then the real fun began. I was up at 4am to express milk, packing lunches, nappy bags and school work. By the time I’d done the drive and the day care drop off I thought I’d run a marathon. On arrival at work I fought the young, single teachers for the first cup of boiling water from the kettle to get my caffeine kick. They would yawn, roll their eyes and mumble how exhausted they were getting themselves to work. More often than not I let them have it and tell them about my morning.
I only ever forgot to collect my children before heading home once. For the life of me I couldn’t work out why it was so quiet in the car. When I turned my head to look in the back seat I cottoned on pretty quick that I needed to chuck a u turn pretty smartly.
Doing jobs for the property as part of the trip was a pretty regular occurrence. I often had a wad of sticky notes of items to collect from my husband and various other neighbours who knew I was in town every day. Taking the ute in meant I had to pick up lick from the railway in my lunch break. I always managed to wear white the days greasy parts/tyres were ready to take home.
The smelliest trip was a mysterious package my husband asked me to post one day. I left it on the dash all one summer’s day to remind my self to swing by the post office on the way home. After I had collected the kids of course. By 4:30pm that box was so ripe I had to repackage the dung beetle samples in 3 lots of zip lock bags before I even considered venturing anywhere near Australia Post. Funnily enough, we were never asked by the DPI to supply samples again. That really suited me as it was one less job I had to do in town.
Most embarrassing trip was during our weaning muster. We were having the great debate over drenching or not. I brightly suggested getting a worm count done in town from dung samples. I rose extra early that morning to chase wild weaners around the yard so stools could be collected. In the car were 2 eskies, one with samples and one with breast milk for the baby. Of course the enviable happened and it wasn’t until I was driving to work after dropping off all my eskies that I realised what had happened. I had a somewhat bamboozled day care mum to sooth and a man who used to still laugh at me for many years after every time we met.
Slowest trip: old style summer diesel still in the car when early frosts hit. I would drive about 100m and then we would stall to a stop. I got 10km to town in just over an hour until I was rescued by a roo shooter who gave me a lift. The three of all pilled in the front on one bucket seat, but we all got there eventually!
Now I am merely a FLOP (Fun Loving Other Person) who no longer has paid employment. I still find plenty to do to fill in my day, don’t worry. Darling, drinking tea and eating scones on the veranda is so exhausting. Not to mention how busy I am with those trips to town for a facial, coffee with the girls and a spot of shopping.
I teach my kids in a car port 20m from my kitchen so I really love the daily commute now. Sometimes I dance down the path. However, the trip from A to B often has a detour past the laundry, cattle yards, ute, fencing trailer or hay shed. It must be finished by 8am or there about as that is when our school teacher (me) hollers, “Get your butts in here!”
The trip home is also some what longer than usual as various obstacles of station life have to be tackled. Not that I’m whinging! And the commutes to work we have on the property? Yep, that’s another whole story too. I might even write about it one day.
